Dr. Susanne Bloomfield

English 102

Add Variety to Your Sentences

In your first drafts, focus on writing down your ideas rather than concerning yourself with sentence structure. As you revise, combine short, simple sentences to eliminate needless repetition and create a more mature, coherent voice. Add variety not only in the types of sentences you use, but also in the length.

Coordination

The pizza we ordered was late.

We ate every piece.

The pizza we ordered was late, but we ate every piece.

Subordination

The pizza we ordered was late.

We ate every piece.

Although the pizza we ordered was late, we ate every piece.

Participles

The old gentleman pulled his coat over his head.

He stepped out into the rain.

He walked quickly away from the train station.

Pulling his coat over his head, the old gentleman stepped out into the rain and walked quickly away from the train station.

Helen was plagued by doubts about her ability.

She kept quiet in class.

She answered questions only when the teacher called on her.

Plagued by doubts about her ability, Helen kept quiet in class, answering questions only when the teacher called on her.

Noun Substitutes

Helen was plagued by doubts about her ability.

She kept quiet in class.

She answered questions only when the teacher called on her.

Plagued by doubts about her ability kept Helen quiet in class, and she answered questions only when the teacher called on her.

Infinitives

Students want to produce well-written papers.

They should write several drafts.

They should revise as they go.

To produce well-written papers, students should write several drafts, revising as they go.

Prepositional Phrases

Helen was plagued by doubts about her ability.

She kept quiet in class.

She answered questions only when the teacher called on her.

With doubts about her abilities, Helen kept quiet in class and answered questions only when the teacher called on her.

Appositives

Helen was plagued by doubts about her ability.

She kept quiet in class.

She answered questions only when the teacher called on her.

Helen, plagued by doubts about her ability, kept quiet in class and answered questions only when the teacher called on her.

Absolutes

Helen sat quietly at her desk.

Her head was slightly lowered over a pile of history notes.

Helen sat quietly at her desk, her head slightly lowered over a pile of history notes, her feet tapping the floor gently, and her fingers drumming the table with her pencil.

Parallelism

When repeating a series of words, phrases, or clauses, students must use the same grammatical forms.

Word series:

I like Paint horses.

I like red Dodge Ram pickups.

I like to ride Trek mountain bicycles.

I like Paint horses, red Dodge Ram pickups, and Trek mountain bicycles.

I like riding Paint horses and Trek mountain bicycles, and I enjoy driving red Dodge Ram pickups.

Phrase series:

I love to go to the museum.

I like to view the dinosaurs.

Buying books in the gift shop is fun.

I often eat in the museum café.

I love to go to the Museum where I can view the dinosaurs, buy books in the gift shop, and eat at the museum café.