Andy Stobel
Unit Plan #1:
10-Day Creative Writing Unit – Descriptive Writing
Grades 11 & 12
45-minute class periods
Dr. Bloomfield
ENG 424 – 01
Revised: 12 December 2006
Summary: Students will read Lewis Carroll’s poem “Jabberwocky” and George Orwell’s short story “Shooting an Elephant” to review the parts of speech and to identify the qualities of descriptive writing. After several practice exercises in original descriptive writing, the students will then write a final descriptive essay on a topic of their choice, using the strategies learned throughout the unit.
10-Day Creative Writing Unit – Descriptive Writing
Unit Objectives: Overview
1.) read Lewis Carroll’s “Jabberwocky” and summarize its main action.
- 12.1.1 Students will identify the main idea and supporting details in what they
have read.
- 12.1.5 Students will demonstrate the ability to analyze fiction through identifying and applying knowledge of elements and literary techniques.
2.) use “Jabberwocky” to identify and/or review the parts of speech.
- 12.1.3 Students will identify and use characteristics to classify different types of text.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
3.) rewrite
“Jabberwocky” using modern, familiar words.
- 12.1.5 Students will demonstrate the ability to analyze fiction through identifying and applying knowledge of elements and literary techniques.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
4.) read their rewritten “Jabberwocky” poems for the class.
- 12.3.2 Students will make oral presentations that demonstrate consideration of
audience, purpose, and information.
5.) demonstrate their understanding of adjectives and adverbs through Adjective/Adverb Taboo
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
6.) read George Orwell’s “Shooting an Elephant” and discuss it in terms of theme (Imperialism)
- 12.1.4 Students will analyze literature to identify the stated or implied theme.
7.) discuss how Orwell effectively uses descriptors (strong verbs, adjectives, adverbs, etc) in his
essay to “paint a picture” and effectively
convey his theme.
- 12.1.3 Students will identify and use characteristics to classify different types of text.
- 12.1.4 Students will analyze literature to identify the stated or implied theme.
- 12.1.5 Students will demonstrate the ability to analyze fiction through identifying and applying knowledge of elements and literary techniques.
- 12.1.8 Students will demonstrate the ability to analyze literary works, nonfiction, films, and media.
- 12.2.5 Students will demonstrate the ability to use self-generated questions, note
taking, summarizing, and outlining while learning.
- 12.3.1 Students will participate in student-directed discussions by eliciting
questions and responses.
8.) understand the effect of verb choice in
descriptive writing.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
9.) correctly use a variety of strategies to create longer, fuller sentences.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
10.) use the website www.chompchomp.com to practice sentence combining strategies.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
11.) select an author of choice and write one paragraph explaining why the author’s
style is effective.
- 12.1.8 Students will demonstrate the ability to analyze literary works, nonfiction, films, and media.
- 12.2.5 Students will demonstrate the ability to use self-generated questions, note
taking, summarizing, and outlining while learning.
12.) mimic said author’s style in an imitation paragraph on a topic of choice.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
13.) work in a group to write a one-paragraph description of a picture provided in class.
- 12.2.2 Students will write compositions with focus, related ideas, and supporting details.
- 12.3.1 Students will participate in student-directed discussions by eliciting
questions and responses.
14.) correctly use a variety of adjectives and adverbs in an original composition.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
15) correctly use a variety of strategies to create longer, fuller sentences.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
16.) use a variety of strong active verbs and avoid passive verbs in their writing.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
17.) correctly use commas where necessary.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
18.) develop a topic for and write a three- to four-page descriptive narrative on topic of choice.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
- 12.2.2 Students will write compositions with focus, related ideas, and supporting
details
- 12.2.3 Students will revise and edit persuasive compositions.
- 12.2.4 Students will use multiple forms to write for different audiences and purposes.
19.) work individually on their descriptive essays
- 12.2.3 Students will revise and edit
persuasive compositions.
20.) work with a partner to peer-review their descriptive narratives.
- 12.2.5 Students will demonstrate the ability to use self-generated questions, note
taking, summarizing, and outlining while learning.
- 12.3.1 Students will participate in student-directed discussions by eliciting
questions and responses.
Assignment Schedule and Point Breakdown
|
Assignment |
Date Assigned |
Date Due/Completed |
Point Value |
|
Rewritten “Jabberwocky” Poem |
Day 1 |
Day 2 |
20 |
|
“Shooting an “Elephant” Reading-Check Quiz |
|
Day 3 |
10 |
|
“Shooting an “Elephant” Word Map |
Day 3 |
Day 4 |
20 |
|
Adj/Adv/V Story Template |
Day 4 |
Day 5 |
45 |
|
Sentence Combining Worksheet |
|
Day 5 |
20 |
|
Book/Article and Explanation Paragraph |
Day 5 |
Day 7 |
20 |
|
Final Essay Topic |
Day 5 |
Day 8 |
1 |
|
Sentence Combining Quiz |
|
Day 7 |
24 |
|
Book/Article Imitation Paragraph |
Day 7 |
Day 8 |
20 |
|
Picture Description Paragraph |
|
Day 8 |
20 |
|
Final Descriptive Essay |
Day 8 |
Day 11 |
100 |
|
Daily Participation |
|
all 10 days |
10 |
|
Total Points: 310 |
|||
Materials,
Resources, and Technology Needs:
Overview
DAY ONE
- A copy of “Jabberwocky for each student
DAY TWO
- Several slips of paper with simple sentences on them (Appendix B).
-
Copy of George Orwell’s Shooting
an Elephant for each student (Appendix C).
DAY THREE
- “Shooting an “Elephant” Reading-Check quiz (Appendix D)
- “Shooting an “Elephant” Word Map (Appendix E)
- Overhead projector (optional)
DAY FOUR
- Copy of “The Grammar High School Cafeteria” worksheet for each pair of students
DAY FIVE
- “Sentence Combining” overhead transparency (Appendix G)
- Copy of sentence combining worksheet (Appendix H) for each student
- Overhead Projector
DAY SIX
- School computer for each student
- Internet access to www.chompchomp.com
- Printable handouts (if necessary)
DAY SEVEN
- Sentence Combining Quiz (Appendix I)
- Final Essay Rubric (Appendix L)
DAY EIGHT
- Overhead projector
- Picture Transparency (Appendix I)
DAY NINE
- Copy of comma rules handout (Appendix J) for each student
DAY TEN
- nothing
DAY ONE – Writing
and the Basic Parts of Speech:
45 minutes
Adapted from:
http://www.eduref.org/cgibin/printlessons.cgi/Virtual/Lessons/Language_Arts/Writing/WCP0004.html
Component #1 –
Desired Outcomes/Objectives
The student will:
1.) read Lewis Carroll’s “Jabberwocky” and summarize its main action.
- 12.1.1 Students will identify the main idea and supporting details in what they
have read.
- 12.1.5 Students will demonstrate the ability to analyze fiction through identifying and applying knowledge of elements and literary techniques.
2.) use “Jabberwocky” to identify and/or review the parts of speech.
- 12.1.3 Students will identify and use characteristics to classify different types of text.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
3.) rewrite
“Jabberwocky” using modern, familiar words.
- 12.1.5 Students will demonstrate the ability to analyze fiction through identifying and applying knowledge of elements and literary techniques.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
Component #2 – Assessment Plan
- The teacher will informally assess student understanding of the parts of speech by observing and asking questions. The student will also rewrite the poem using modern, familiar words to demonstrate their understanding of the parts of the speech (20 points).
- Participation grade: 1 pt.
Component #3 – Instructional Sequence and Activities
1.) Anticipatory Set (“Hook”): Pre-class
As the students enter the room, direct their attention to the chalkboard on which the following lines are written:
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
Ask students to take out a sheet of paper and write down what parts of this “strange” language are familiar to them and why. Can they still envision some sort of action taking place?
2.) Input: 5 minutes
Ask the students how the passage on the board can “make sense without making sense.” Use their answers as a springboard to explain that the poem works because we understand how the various parts of speech work, even if we don’t understand the words themselves. Explain to the students that, in order to write effectively, therefore, one must understand how to correctly use the various parts of speech. If necessary, quickly review each of the eight basic parts: noun, pronoun, verb, adjective, adverb, proposition, conjunction, interjection, (and determiner).
3.) Whole-group Discussion: 20 minutes
To elaborate further on this point, distribute copies of Lewis Carroll’s “Jabberwocky” in its entirety (Appendix A), and read the poem aloud for the students. When finished, lead the class in a summary of the poem’s main action to demonstrate that, despite the nonsense words, the poem is still uniquely coherent. Direct their attention to specific nonsense words and ask how the words’ sounds help the reader visualize the object or action. Use, for example:
- “vorpal”
- “whiffling”
- “snicker-snack”
- “galumphing”
4.) Small-Group Discussion: 15 minutes
Group the students in pairs and ask them to read through the poem again on their own and label each word’s part of speech. As they work, walk from group to group and help them work through any questions they may have. Have them use the following labeling system:
- noun = N - adverb = Adv
- pronoun = PN - preposition = PP
- verb = V - conjunction = Conj
- adjective = Adj - interjection = Int
- determiner = D
5.) Wrap-up and Closure: 5 minutes
Regroup and review how the functions of words help us understand their meaning and how word choice can help us visualize a text.
ASSIGNMENT: For the next class period, ask the students to rewrite the poem, replacing each nonsense word with any standard, yet creative, words that they can think of.
Component #4 – Materials, Resources, Technology Needs
- A copy of “Jabberwocky for each student (Appendix A)
Component #5 – Analysis and Reflection
DAY TWO – More Practice with Adjectives and Adverbs: 45 minutes
Component #1 – Desired Outcomes/Objectives
The student will:
1.) read their rewritten “Jabberwocky” poems for the class.
- 12.3.2 Students will make oral presentations that demonstrate consideration of
audience, purpose, and information.
2.) demonstrate their understanding of adjectives and adverbs through Adjective/Adverb Taboo
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
Component #2 – Assessment Plan
- The teacher will informally assess the students through observation.
- Participation grade: 1 pt.
Component #3 – Instructional Sequence and Activities
1.) Oral Presentations: 20 minutes
Have each student read his or her poem for the class. Encourage students to use a variety of vocal expressions or physical gestures for maximum effect.
2.) Whole-Group Activity: 20 minutes
Source: http://www.lessonplanspage.com/LAAdjAdvTaboo912.htm
As a final practice with adjectives and adverbs, students will play “Adjective/Adverb Taboo.” Divide the class into two teams.
“One
member chooses a slip of paper with the sentence written on it [Appendix
B]. He/she
then gives up to 5 adjectives to describe the subject (ex. small, young, cute,
fair-haired, or sweet to describe ‘child’). The team then tries to guess the subject.
If they are correct, the team scores 1 point. The clue-giver then gives up to 5
adverbs to describe the verb (ex. happily, humorously, gleefully, sweetly,
joyfully to describe ‘laughed’). If the team guesses correctly, they earn 3
points. If the team misses either the subject or verb, the next team has an
opportunity to ‘steal’ the points by having one of their members give one
clue.”
3.) Wrap-up and Closure: 5 minutes
Encourage the students to choose colorful adjectives when they write and to think of words that help readers envision the text, just like these game clues helped the students envision the correct words.
ASSIGNMENT: Before class dismisses, distribute copies of George Orwell’s Shooting an Elephant and assign the reading for next time. Ask students to look for and highlight any adjectives and adverbs as they read. Also ask them to highlight any description passages that really paint a mental picture for them and be ready to discuss what they like about those passages. Let them know that there will be a short reading QUIZ over the story at the beginning of class tomorrow, as well.
Component #4 – Materials, Resources, Technology Needs
- Several slips of paper with simple sentences on them (Appendix B).
- Copy of George Orwell’s Shooting an Elephant for each student (Appendix C).
Component #5 – Analysis and Reflection
DAY THREE – Painting a Word Picture: George Orwell’s Elephant: 45 minutes
Component #1 – Desired Outcomes/Objectives
The student will:
1.) read George Orwell’s “Shooting an Elephant” and discuss it in terms of theme (Imperialism)
- 12.1.4 Students will analyze literature to identify the stated or implied theme.
2.) discuss how Orwell effectively uses descriptors (strong verbs, adjectives, adverbs, etc) in his
essay to “paint a picture” and effectively
convey his theme.
- 12.1.3 Students will identify and use characteristics to classify different types of text.
- 12.1.4 Students will analyze literature to identify the stated or implied theme.
- 12.1.5 Students will demonstrate the ability to analyze fiction through identifying and applying knowledge of elements and literary techniques.
- 12.1.8 Students will demonstrate the ability to analyze literary works, nonfiction, films, and media.
- 12.2.5 Students will demonstrate the ability to use self-generated questions, note
taking, summarizing, and outlining while learning.
- 12.3.1 Students will participate in student-directed discussions by eliciting
questions and responses.
Component #2 – Assessment Plan and
Activities
- The teacher will give a short five-question, factual reading quiz (10 pts) to check for successful completion of the reading assignment (Appendix D).
- The teacher will also informally assess student participation through observation, and students will receive 1 point for active participation and discussion contributions.
Component #3 – Instructional Sequence
Activities
1.) Reading-Check Quiz: 10 minutes
Ask students to clear their desks and take out a pencil. Distribute the quiz (Appendix D) and let students know that they have ten minutes to complete it. Tell them to raise their hands when they are finished, and you will pick up their quizzes. (If students finish before the ten minutes are up, have them skim through the story again and look for words or passages that they find particularly effective in terms of descriptiveness.)
2.) Whole-Group Discussion: 30-35 minutes
Begin by reviewing the quiz answers:
1.)
2.)
(sub-divisional) police officer;
3.) It has ravaged a bazaar, it has killed a person, it has gone “must,” etc.
4.) They bring baskets and pick the bones clean, etc.
5.) He didn’t want to look like a fool or coward.
Use these questions as a springboard into a deeper discussion of the story. The following questions may serve as guides:
-What
is going on in
-What
is imperialism?
-What
does Orwell seem to think about the
-Do
you think Orwell enjoys his job?
-How
do we know Orwell feels that way?
-How
does his position shape his view of the Burmese people?
-How
does his position determine his course of action? Why does
he shoot the elephant?
-How
does Orwell’s use of language convey his attitude toward the events in the
story?
-How
does Orwell “paint a word picture” for us?
At this point, focus on specific language in the story as it applies to descriptive writing. To facilitate discussion and help students create their own visualizations of the depth of Orwell’s language, hand out copies of the word map (Appendix E) and display your own copy either on an overhead project or on the chalkboard. Ask for a volunteer to provide a particularly vivid passage that they highlighted when they read as they read the story. Create a label for the scene itself (e.g. – “The Shooting”) and write that in the middle circle. (Make sure that the class is filling out their own sheets as the discussion goes on.) In the outer circles, write specific people, objects, or actions that appear in that scene (e.g. – “villagers,” “village,” “elephant,” “trampling,” etc.) Taking one outer circle at a time, ask students to provide specific adjectives, adverbs, or verbs that Orwell uses to describe each circle. For each word offered, draw a line extending from each circle and write the word on the line. Additional circles may be added anywhere if needed. When the sheet has been filled out as much as possible, the students will have a visual representation of the true depth of Orwell’s language.
3.) Wrap-up and Closure: Whatever time remains
ASSIGNMENT: For the next class period, the students will create another word map of their own, using a scene not discussed in class. (20 pts)
Component #4 – Materials, Resources, Technology Needs
- “Shooting an “Elephant” Reading-Check quiz (Appendix D)
- “Shooting an “Elephant” Word Map (Appendix E)
- Overhead projector (optional)
Component #5 – Analysis and Reflection
DAY FOUR – More practice with adjectives, adverbs, and active verbs: 45 minutes
Component #1 – Desired Outcomes/Objectives
The student will:
1.) discuss how Orwell effectively uses descriptors (strong verbs, adjectives, adverbs, etc) in his
essay to “paint a picture” and effectively
convey his theme.
- 12.1.3 Students will identify and use characteristics to classify different types of text.
- 12.1.4 Students will analyze literature to identify the stated or implied theme.
- 12.1.5 Students will demonstrate the ability to analyze fiction through identifying and applying knowledge of elements and literary techniques.
- 12.1.8 Students will demonstrate the ability to analyze literary works, nonfiction, films, and media.
- 12.2.5 Students will demonstrate the ability to use self-generated questions, note
taking, summarizing, and outlining while learning.
- 12.3.1 Students will participate in student-directed discussions by eliciting
questions and responses.
2.) understand the effect of verb choice in
descriptive writing.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
Component #2 – Assessment Plan
The teacher will informally assess student understanding through observation: (1 pt.)
Component #3 – Instructional Sequence and Activities
1.) Whole-Class Discussion: 20 minutes
Ask students to share their individual word maps with the class. The discussion may be most effective if students draw their maps on the chalkboard for others to copy.
2.) Small-Group Activity: 25 minutes
Use the word map activity to transition into an application activity. This activity requires students to come up with their own vivid descriptors to complete a provided story template (Appendix F). Group students into pairs and allow them to use thesauruses.
If the students do not finish before class is over, (which is quite likely), allow them to finish the story at home and bring it back the next day. They will turn this in as an ASSIGNMENT worth 45 points.
Component #4 – Materials, Resources, Technology Needs
- Copy of “The Grammar High School Cafeteria” worksheet for each pair of students (Appendix F)
Component #5 – Analysis and Reflection
DAY FIVE – Sentence Combining: 45 minutes
Component #1 – Desired Outcomes/Objectives
The student will:
1.) correctly use a variety of strategies to create longer, fuller sentences.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
Component #2 – Assessment Plan
- The students take a short quiz (Appendix I) two class periods after this lesson to demonstrate their understanding of the material taught during this lesson. (24 pts)
- Participation grade: 1 pt.
Component #3 – Instructional Sequence and Activities
1.) Input: 25 minutes
During this mini-lecture, make sure students take notes in order to study for the quiz. Use the overhead transparency (Appendix G) and discuss each strategy and example one at a time.
(Strategies
adapted from: Elements of Literature,
Sixth Course: Literature of
2.) Guided Practice: 15 minutes
Hand out the sentence combining worksheet (Appendix H). Walk around the room and help students who have questions. This will be turned in at the end of class for 20 points.
3.) Wrap-up: 5 minutes
Explain to the students that during the next class period they will be going to the computer lab. Tell them to meet in the classroom first, and then everyone will walk to the lab together.
Also explain that, in two days, they will need to bring a piece of writing that they think is particularly good. It can be a magazine article, a favorite book, etc. They will be working with these in class. Additionally, they will write one paragraph explaining why they like this particular text. This will be due at the beginning of the period. (10 pts)
Also remind them to start thinking about topics for their 3- to 4-page descriptive essay. The topics will be due in THREE days.
Component #4 – Materials, Resources,
Technology Needs
- “Sentence Combining” overhead transparency (Appendix G)
- Copy of sentence combining worksheet (Appendix H) for each student
- Overhead Projector
Component #5 – Analysis and Reflection
DAY SIX – More Sentence Combining Practice: 45 minutes
Component #1 –
Desired Outcomes/Objectives
The student will:
1.) use the website www.chompchomp.com to practice sentence combining strategies.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
Component #2 – Assessment Plan
The teacher will informally assess student participation through observation and/or asking questions. (1 pt)
Component #3 – Instructional Sequence and Activities
1.) “Meet and Move:” 10 minutes
Meet in the classroom and then walk together to the computer lab. Make sure there is only one student per computer and that every student has a computer.
2.) Individual Practice: 35 minutes
Once students are seated, direct them to open Internet Explorer (or whatever web browser the school computers use) and tell them to enter the following web address: www.chompchomp.com
Use the following directions to help them navigate the website:
a.) Click on the green monster.
b.) Scroll down and click on the “Exercises” button.
c.) Click on the “Comma Splices” button.
- Complete exercises 2 and 4.
- Walk around the room to help students with navigation or exercise questions.
d.) After completing the comma splices exercises, return to the main Exercises page.
e.) Click on the “Fragments” button.
- Complete exercises 3 and 5.
- Again, walk around and answer questions, keep students on task, etc.
NOTE: In the event of no Internet access (downed server, booked lab, etc.), use the printable handouts that accompany each exercise.
3.) Wrap-up: Whatever time remains
Remind students to study for their sentence combining quiz for the next the class period. Also remind them to bring their magazine article, book, etc AND their one-paragraph explanation.
Component #4 – Materials, Resources, Technology Needs
- School computer for each student
- Internet access to www.chompchomp.com
- Printable handouts (if necessary)
Component #5 – Analysis and Reflection
DAY SEVEN – Author Imitations: 45 minutes
Component #1 – Desired Outcomes/Objectives
The student will:
1.) select an author of choice and write one paragraph explaining why the author’s
style is effective.
- 12.1.8 Students will demonstrate the ability to analyze literary works, nonfiction, films, and media.
- 12.2.5 Students will demonstrate the ability to use self-generated questions, note
taking, summarizing, and outlining while learning.
2.) mimic said author’s style in an imitation paragraph on a topic of choice.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
Component #2 – Assessment Plan
The teacher will informally assess through observation of student participation and on-task work. (1 pt)
Component #3 – Instructional Sequence and Activities
1.) Sentence Combining Quiz: 20-25 minutes
Have the students clear off their desks and take out a pencil. Distribute the quiz (Appendix I). Tell students to raise their hands when they are finished, and you will walk by and pick up their quizzes.
2.) Individual Work: 25-20 minutes
Ask the students to take out the books or articles that they brought with them today and collect the paragraphs that they wrote about their selections.
Tell the students to peruse their selections and find a paragraph that they think is especially “good.” With the remaining class time, have the students try to imitate that paragraph’s style by writing their own paragraph on their own subject. Here’s the catch: As closely as possible, the student should match noun for noun, verb for verb, punctuation for punctuation, etc. This activity will really force them to stretch their linguistic skills and to think about style. If they do not finish before class is over (which should be expected), allow them to finish the activity at home and bring it back the next day. This activity will be worth 20 points.
As the students work, be available! Walk around, ask questions, answer student questions, etc.
3.) Wrap-up: Whatever time remains
Remind students that their final essay topics are due the next day. All they need to bring is a piece of paper with one sentence that explains what they want to write about. (2 pts)
Distribute copies of the final essay rubric (Appendix L) for students to use as they plan and write.
Component #4 – Materials, Resources,
Technology Needs
- Sentence Combining Quiz (Appendix I)
- Final Essay Rubric (Appendix L)
Component #5 – Analysis and Reflection
DAY EIGHT – Descriptive Essay Practice/Prep: 45 minutes
Component #1 – Desired Outcomes/Objectives
The student will:
1.) work in a group to write a one-paragraph description of a picture provided in class.
- 12.2.2 Students will write compositions with focus, related ideas, and supporting details.
- 12.3.1 Students will participate in student-directed discussions by eliciting
questions and responses.
2.) correctly use a variety of adjectives and adverbs in an original composition.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
3.) correctly use a variety of strategies to create longer, fuller sentences.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
4.) use a variety of strong active verbs and avoid passive verbs in their writing.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
Component #2 – Assessment Plan
The teacher will informally assess student understanding and participation through observation. (1 pt)
Component #3 – Instructional Sequence and
Activities
1.) Collect the essay topics sentences.
2.) Input: 5 minutes
Group students into pairs. Allow them to move desks around, as long as they can still see the overhead clearly. Explain that today they are going to practice for their descriptive essays by describing a picture (Appendix K) that you will place on the overhead. Each group will write two paragraphs in which they describe the following details:
the sounds of the scene / the
smells of the scene / the sights of the scene / the people in the scene
3.) Small-Group Work: 30 minutes
Place the picture on the overhead. As the groups write their paragraphs, walk around to make sure everyone stays on task.
4.) Whole-Group Discussion: 10 minutes
Allow the students to remain in their groups. Ask for volunteers to read their paragraphs and invite other groups to comment on features of the descriptions they think work particularly well. What suggestions might they have for each presenting group? Did they leave out any important or interesting details? Turn in the paragraphs for 20 points.
5.) Wrap-up: Whatever time remaining
Encourage students to begin writing their essays if they have not already and to bring whatever they have to class the next day. Tomorrow will be an in-class work day.
Component #4 – Materials, Resources, Technology Needs
- Overhead projector
- Picture Transparency (Appendix K)
Component #5 – Analysis and Reflection
DAY NINE – Individual
Work Day: 45 minutes
Component #1 – Desired Outcomes/Objectives
The student will:
1.) correctly use commas where necessary.
- 12.2.1 Students will write using standard English (conventions) for sentence structure,
usage, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
2.) work individually on their descriptive essays
- 12.2.3 Students will revise and edit
persuasive compositions.
Component #2 – Assessment Plan
The teacher will informally assess through observation of on-task behavior. (1 pt)
Component #3 – Instructional Sequence and
Activities
1.) Input: 10 minutes
Distribute copies of the comma rules handout (Appendix J) and review the rules as necessary. Remind the students to keep this reference sheet handy as they write their essays.
2.) Individual Work: 35 minutes
Tell students they have the rest of the period to work on their essays. Let them know they can move around, sit on the floor, etc. (“Feel free to move about the cabin”), as long as they are quiet and remain on-task.
Move about the cabin yourself. Monitor student on-task behavior and work with students one-on-one if they seem “stuck.”
3.) Wrap-up: Whatever time remaining
Encourage the students to bring a COMPLETE rough draft for the next period. They will be peer-reviewing each other’s essays.
Component #4 – Materials, Resources, Technology Needs
- Copy of comma rules handout (Appendix J) for each student
Component #5 – Analysis and Reflection
DAY TEN – Peer Review Workshop: 45 minutes
Component #1 – Desired Outcomes/Objectives
The student will:
1.) work with a partner to peer-review their descriptive narratives.
- 12.2.5 Students will demonstrate the ability to use self-generated questions, note
taking, summarizing, and outlining while learning.
- 12.3.1 Students will participate in student-directed discussions by eliciting
questions and responses.
Component #2 – Assessment Plan
-The student’s essay will be evaluated according to the rubric (Appendix L) provided to the students earlier in the week.
-Participation grade: 1 pt
Component #3 – Instructional Sequence and
Activities
1.) Input: 5 minutes
Explain to the students how the peer-review workshop will work. Each student will find a partner and read their essay aloud to their partner. Since the partner has never read the essay before, he or she can more astutely pick up on short, choppy sentences or awkward phrasing that the writer, in his or her numbing familiarity with the material, may not even notice now. Write on the board the following “danger signs” that students should be listening for:
-
Several
consecutive sentences that begin with the,
that, or other such article
-
Two short
sentences that begin with the same subject (ex
– It smelled good. It looked nice…)
-
Consecutive
sentences with only basic subject-verb
constructions (ex – It looked nice. I tasted some…)
-
Sentences that
seem repetitious/redundant
-
Sentences in
which two different subjects are performing the same action (ex – Dick runs. Jane runs, too…)
Also, encourage the students to use their notes from the Day Five overhead transparency (Appendix G) as guide for making editing suggestions. At the partner’s suggestion, the writer will underline sentences for possible combining or fixing.
This process will then be repeated with the other person. Once both students have read their essays to their partners, they may briefly work individually to revise the essay. Once any revisions have been made, the student may take his/her essay to a second partner, again completely unfamiliar with the text, and test his or her revisions against another fresh ear. Students could repeat this process as many times as they want until they arrive at draft that they deem satisfactory.
2.) Partner Peer-Review: 40 minutes
As the students work, make yourself available for questions or suggestions.
3.) Wrap-up: Whatever time remaining
Remind the students to use the rubric as they complete their final drafts. ASSIGNMENT: The essays will be due at the beginning of class next time. (100 pts).
Component #4 – Materials, Resources, Technology Needs
- nothing
Component #5 – Analysis and Reflection
Appendix A
JABBERWOCKY
Lewis Carroll
(from Through
the Looking-Glass and What
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
Source:
http://www.jabberwocky.com/carroll/jabber/jabberwocky.html
Appendix B
Adjective/Adverb Taboo
The audience laughed. The
bird sang.
The dog whimpered. The grasshoppers chewed.
The girl skipped. The
mosquitoes swarmed.
The baby
screamed. The Huskers won.
The airplane crashed. The thunder rumbled.
The car raced. The
athlete ran.
The water flowed. The snow swirled.
The cat scratched. The glass
broke.
The monkey climbed. Her cut bled.
The child cried. His socks stunk.
The firecracker exploded. The oil stained.
The baby crawled. The soup boiled.
The lion jumped. The mouse squeaked.
The wind whistled. The ballerina leaped.
The clock chimed. The snow
drifted.
Appendix
C
Shooting
an Elephant
by George Orwell
(1936)
In
All
this was perplexing and upsetting. For at that time I had already made up my
mind that imperialism was an evil thing and the sooner I chucked up my job and
got out of it the better. Theoretically — and secretly, of course — I was all
for the Burmese and all against their oppressors, the British. As for the job I
was doing, I hated it more bitterly than I can perhaps make clear. In a job
like that you see the dirty work of Empire at close quarters. The wretched
prisoners huddling in the stinking cages of the lock-ups, the grey, cowed faces
of the long-term convicts, the scarred buttocks of the men who had been flogged
with bamboos — all these oppressed me with an intolerable sense of guilt. But I
could get nothing into perspective. I was young and ill-educated and I had had
to think out my problems in the utter silence that is imposed on every Englishman
in the East. I did not even know that the
One
day something happened which in a roundabout way was enlightening. It was a
tiny incident in itself, but it gave me a better glimpse than I had had before
of the real nature of imperialism — the real motives for which despotic
governments act. Early one morning the sub-inspector at a police station the
other end of the town rang me up on the phone and said that an elephant was
ravaging the bazaar. Would I please come and do something about it? I did not
know what I could do, but I wanted to see what was happening and I got on to a
pony and started out. I took my rifle, an old .44
The
Burmese sub-inspector and some Indian constables were waiting for me in the
quarter where the elephant had been seen. It was a very poor quarter, a
labyrinth of squalid bamboo huts, thatched with palmleaf, winding all over a
steep hillside. I remember that it was a cloudy, stuffy morning at the
beginning of the rains. We began questioning the people as to where the
elephant had gone and, as usual, failed to get any definite information. That
is invariably the case in the East; a story always sounds clear enough at a
distance, but the nearer you get to the scene of events the vaguer it becomes.
Some of the people said that the elephant had gone in one direction, some said
that he had gone in another, some professed not even to have heard of any
elephant. I had almost made up my mind that the whole story was a pack of lies,
when we heard yells a little distance away. There was a loud, scandalized cry
of ‘Go away, child! Go away this instant!’ and an old woman with a switch in
her hand came round the corner of a hut, violently shooing away a crowd of
naked children. Some more women followed, clicking their tongues and
exclaiming; evidently there was something that the children ought not to have
seen. I rounded the hut and saw a man's dead body sprawling in the mud. He was
an Indian, a black Dravidian coolie, almost naked, and he could not have been
dead many minutes. The people said that the elephant had come suddenly upon him
round the corner of the hut, caught him with its trunk, put its foot on his
back and ground him into the earth. This was the rainy season and the ground
was soft, and his face had scored a trench a foot deep and a couple of yards
long. He was lying on his belly with arms crucified and head sharply twisted to
one side. His face was coated with mud, the eyes wide open, the teeth bared and
grinning with an expression of unendurable agony. (Never tell me, by the way,
that the dead look peaceful. Most of the corpses I have seen looked devilish.)
The friction of the great beast's foot had stripped the skin from his back as
neatly as one skins a rabbit. As soon as I saw the dead man I sent an orderly
to a friend's house nearby to borrow an elephant rifle. I had already sent back
the pony, not wanting it to go mad with fright and throw me if it smelt the
elephant.
The
orderly came back in a few minutes with a rifle and five cartridges, and
meanwhile some Burmans had arrived and told us that the elephant was in the
paddy fields below, only a few hundred yards away. As I started forward
practically the whole population of the quarter flocked out of the houses and
followed me. They had seen the rifle and were all shouting excitedly that I was
going to shoot the elephant. They had not shown much interest in the elephant
when he was merely ravaging their homes, but it was different now that he was
going to be shot. It was a bit of fun to them, as it would be to an English
crowd; besides they wanted the meat. It made me vaguely uneasy. I had no
intention of shooting the elephant — I had merely sent for the rifle to defend
myself if necessary — and it is always unnerving to have a crowd following you.
I marched down the hill, looking and feeling a fool, with the rifle over my
shoulder and an ever-growing army of people jostling at my heels. At the
bottom, when you got away from the huts, there was a metalled road and beyond
that a miry waste of paddy fields a thousand yards across, not yet ploughed but
soggy from the first rains and dotted with coarse grass. The elephant was
standing eight yards from the road, his left side towards us. He took not the
slightest notice of the crowd's approach. He was tearing up bunches of grass,
beating them against his knees to clean them and stuffing them into his mouth.
I
had halted on the road. As soon as I saw the elephant I knew with perfect
certainty that I ought not to shoot him. It is a serious matter to shoot a
working elephant — it is comparable to destroying a huge and costly piece of
machinery — and obviously one ought not to do it if it can possibly be avoided.
And at that distance, peacefully eating, the elephant looked no more dangerous
than a cow. I thought then and I think now that his attack of ‘must’ was
already passing off; in which case he would merely wander harmlessly about
until the mahout came back and caught him. Moreover, I did not in the least
want to shoot him. I decided that I would watch him for a little while to make
sure that he did not turn savage again, and then go home.
But
at that moment I glanced round at the crowd that had followed me. It was an
immense crowd, two thousand at the least and growing every minute. It blocked
the road for a long distance on either side. I looked at the sea of yellow
faces above the garish clothes-faces all happy and excited over this bit of
fun, all certain that the elephant was going to be shot. They were watching me
as they would watch a conjurer about to perform a trick. They did not like me,
but with the magical rifle in my hands I was momentarily worth watching. And
suddenly I realized that I should have to shoot the elephant after all. The
people expected it of me and I had got to do it; I could feel their two
thousand wills pressing me forward, irresistibly. And it was at this moment, as
I stood there with the rifle in my hands, that I first grasped the hollowness,
the futility of the white man's dominion in the East. Here was I, the white man
with his gun, standing in front of the unarmed native crowd — seemingly the
leading actor of the piece; but in reality I was only an absurd puppet pushed
to and fro by the will of those yellow faces behind. I perceived in this moment
that when the white man turns tyrant it is his own freedom that he destroys. He
becomes a sort of hollow, posing dummy, the conventionalized figure of a sahib.
For it is the condition of his rule that he shall spend his life in trying to
impress the ‘natives’, and so in every crisis he has got to do what the
‘natives’ expect of him. He wears a mask, and his face grows to fit it. I had
got to shoot the elephant. I had committed myself to doing it when I sent for
the rifle. A sahib has got to act like a sahib; he has got to appear resolute,
to know his own mind and do definite things. To come all that way, rifle in
hand, with two thousand people marching at my heels, and then to trail feebly
away, having done nothing — no, that was impossible. The crowd would laugh at
me. And my whole life, every white man's life in the East, was one long
struggle not to be laughed at.
But
I did not want to shoot the elephant. I watched him beating his bunch of grass
against his knees, with that preoccupied grandmotherly air that elephants have.
It seemed to me that it would be murder to shoot him. At that age I was not
squeamish about killing animals, but I had never shot an elephant and never
wanted to. (Somehow it always seems worse to kill a large animal.)
Besides, there was the beast's owner to be considered. Alive, the elephant was
worth at least a hundred pounds; dead, he would only be worth the value of his
tusks, five pounds, possibly. But I had got to act quickly. I turned to some
experienced-looking Burmans who had been there when we arrived, and asked them
how the elephant had been behaving. They all said the same thing: he took no
notice of you if you left him alone, but he might charge if you went too close
to him.
It
was perfectly clear to me what I ought to do. I ought to walk up to within,
say, twenty-five yards of the elephant and test his behavior. If he charged, I
could shoot; if he took no notice of me, it would be safe to leave him until
the mahout came back. But also I knew that I was going to do no such thing. I
was a poor shot with a rifle and the ground was soft mud into which one would
sink at every step. If the elephant charged and I missed him, I should have
about as much chance as a toad under a steam-roller. But even then I was not
thinking particularly of my own skin, only of the watchful yellow faces behind.
For at that moment, with the crowd watching me, I was not afraid in the
ordinary sense, as I would have been if I had been alone. A white man mustn't
be frightened in front of ‘natives’; and so, in general, he isn't frightened.
The sole thought in my mind was that if anything went wrong those two thousand
Burmans would see me pursued, caught, trampled on and reduced to a grinning
corpse like that Indian up the hill. And if that happened it was quite probable
that some of them would laugh. That would never do.
There
was only one alternative. I shoved the cartridges into the magazine and lay down
on the road to get a better aim. The crowd grew very still, and a deep, low,
happy sigh, as of people who see the theatre curtain go up at last, breathed
from innumerable throats. They were going to have their bit of fun after all.
The rifle was a beautiful German thing with cross-hair sights. I did not then
know that in shooting an elephant one would shoot to cut an imaginary bar
running from ear-hole to ear-hole. I ought, therefore, as the elephant was
sideways on, to have aimed straight at his ear-hole, actually I aimed several
inches in front of this, thinking the brain would be further forward.
When
I pulled the trigger I did not hear the bang or feel the kick — one never does
when a shot goes home — but I heard the devilish roar of glee that went up from
the crowd. In that instant, in too short a time, one would have thought, even
for the bullet to get there, a mysterious, terrible change had come over the
elephant. He neither stirred nor fell, but every line of his body had altered.
He looked suddenly stricken, shrunken, immensely old, as though the frightful
impact of the bullet had paralysed him without knocking him down. At last,
after what seemed a long time — it might have been five seconds, I dare say —
he sagged flabbily to his knees. His mouth slobbered. An enormous senility
seemed to have settled upon him. One could have imagined him thousands of years
old. I fired again into the same spot. At the second shot he did not collapse
but climbed with desperate slowness to his feet and stood weakly upright, with
legs sagging and head drooping. I fired a third time. That was the shot that
did for him. You could see the agony of it jolt his whole body and knock the
last remnant of strength from his legs. But in falling he seemed for a moment
to rise, for as his hind legs collapsed beneath him he seemed to tower upward
like a huge rock toppling, his trunk reaching skyward like a tree. He
trumpeted, for the first and only time. And then down he came, his belly
towards me, with a crash that seemed to shake the ground even where I lay.
I
got up. The Burmans were already racing past me across the mud. It was obvious
that the elephant would never rise again, but he was not dead. He was breathing
very rhythmically with long rattling gasps, his great mound of a side painfully
rising and falling. His mouth was wide open — I could see far down into caverns
of pale pink throat. I waited a long time for him to die, but his breathing did
not weaken. Finally I fired my two remaining shots into the spot where I thought
his heart must be. The thick blood welled out of him like red velvet, but still
he did not die. His body did not even jerk when the shots hit him, the tortured
breathing continued without a pause. He was dying, very slowly and in great
agony, but in some world remote from me where not even a bullet could damage
him further. I felt that I had got to put an end to that dreadful noise. It
seemed dreadful to see the great beast lying there, powerless to move and yet
powerless to die, and not even to be able to finish him. I sent back for my
small rifle and poured shot after shot into his heart and down his throat. They
seemed to make no impression. The tortured gasps continued as steadily as the
ticking of a clock.
In the end I could not stand it any longer and went away.
I heard later that it took him half an hour to die. Burmans were bringing dash
and baskets even before I left, and I was told they had stripped his body
almost to the bones by the afternoon.
Afterwards,
of course, there were endless discussions about the shooting of the elephant.
The owner was furious, but he was only an Indian and could do nothing. Besides,
legally I had done the right thing, for a mad elephant has to be killed, like a
mad dog, if its owner fails to control it. Among the Europeans opinion was
divided. The older men said I was right, the younger men said it was a damn
shame to shoot an elephant for killing a coolie, because an elephant was worth
more than any damn Coringhee coolie. And afterwards I was very glad that the
coolie had been killed; it put me legally in the right and it gave me a
sufficient pretext for shooting the elephant. I often wondered whether any of
the others grasped that I had done it solely to avoid looking a fool.
1936
THE END
____BD____
George Orwell: ‘Shooting an Elephant’
First published: New Writing. — GB,
Reprinted:
— ‘Shooting an Elephant and Other
Essays’. — 1950.
— ‘The Orwell Reader, Fiction, Essays,
and Reportage’ — 1956.
— ‘Collected Essays’. — 1961.
— ‘The Collected Essays, Journalism
and Letters of George Orwell’. — 1968.
Source:
http://www.orwell.ru/library/articles/elephant/english/e_eleph
Appendix D
Name:_________________________ Date:_____________
Shooting an Elephant Reading-Check Quiz
Answer
each of the following in one or two sentences.
Use COMPLETE sentences.
1. Where
and when does this story take place? (2
pts)
2. What is
the narrator’s occupation? Who does he
work for? (2 pts)
3. Why do
the villagers want the narrator to shoot the elephant? (2 pts)
4. What do
the villagers do to the elephant after it dies?
(2 pts)
5. What
secret reason does the narrator ultimately give for shooting the elephant? (2 pts)
Appendix E
Name:_______________________________ Date:_____________
Shooting an Elephant
Word Map
Appendix F
Name(s):____________________________________________ Date:_____________
The
The air in the cafeteria kitchen was _____________; the ____________heat from the ovens and
Adj Adj
_____________ steam from the pots created a(n) _______________
atmosphere. I immediately
Adj Adj
began to _______________ and felt my shirt ______________to my back. The air was so
V V
_____________ _______________, in fact, that it closed in around me like a(n) ____________
Adv Adj Adj
__________________, leaving me unable to _________________enough oxygen into my
N V
_______________lungs. From somewhere in the room, I heard the roaring of a _____________
Adj Adj
fan but felt none of its_______________ aid. Becoming lightheaded from the____________
Adj Adj
heat, I _______________against the nearest counter, burning my hand on its
V
_______________ stainless steel top. Deciding to get out ___________________, I began to
Adj Adv
_______________ around the labyrinth of ovens. My shoes __________________ stuck with a
V Adv
“ssschtrrrick, ssschtrrrrick” to what I assumed was _________________ grease and grime on the
Adj
_____________ floor.
Adj
Because of the __________________climate, I was forced to breath through my mouth
Adj
in order to ________________ enough air down my pipe. As a result, I barely noticed the
V
______________odor that ________________the kitchen. The place_______________ of body
Adj V V
odor and __________________ cabbage. Every time I breathed through my nose to give my
Adj
parched tongue a break, the ___________________ smell _______________my nostrils.
Adj V
Choking, I wiped my ______________________ eyes and began to curse myself for ever
Adj
entering this ______________________ hole. But just when I thought I’d experienced all of the
Adj
kitchen’s charm, a(n) _____________noise ___________________ from the corner of the room.
Adj V
Porcelain plates and bowls ____________ into each other, creating _____________________
V Adj
tones that made me ______________. A(n) __________________ AM radio, tuned to an oldies
V Adj
station, __________________in harmony with the ________________ dishes, creating a
V Adj
______________________ so loud that my head _____________________. Overtop of the
N V
commotion, the cafeteria staff __________________ orders on proper washing methods to each
V
other. This wasn’t a kitchen, I concluded. This was a ______________ _________________.
Adj N
Appendix G
J Sentence Combining J
(Strategies adapted
from: Elements of Literature, Sixth
Course: Literature of
1.)
Combine related sentences by taking a key word or phrase from sentence
and
inserting
it into another sentence.
Original: Joe does not walk to school on certain days. Those days are very cold.
Combined: Joe does not walk to school on very cold days.
2.)
Combine related sentences whose ideas are equally by using coordinating
conjunctions
(for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so).
Original: Sally got sick from eating too many Cheetos. She stayed home from school as a result.
Combined: Sally got sick from eating too many Cheetos, so she stayed home from school.
3.)
Combine related sentences by using correlative conjunctions (both…and,
either…or,
neither…nor, not only…but also).
Original: Pierpont enjoys racing lawn mowers. Isma does, too.
Combined: Both Pierpont and Isma enjoy racing lawn mowers.
4.)
Combine independent clauses with a semicolon or with a semicolon and a conjunctive
adverb
(furthermore, however, likewise, moreover, nevertheless, therefore, etc.).
Original: The surveillance tape showed Wile E. Coyote stealing sheep. The jury found him guilty.
Combined: The surveillance tape showed Wile E. Coyote stealing sheep; therefore, the jury
found him guilty.
5.)
Combine related sentences whose ideas are not equally important by
placing the less
important idea in a subordinating clause (adjective
clause, adverb clause, noun
clause).
Adjective Clause: SpongeBob SquarePants loves life. He lives in a pineapple under the sea.
SpongeBob SquarePants, who lives in a pineapple under the sea, loves life.
Adverb Clause: Mom cooked liver and onions for supper. Billy ate at McDonald’s instead.
When Mom cooked liver and onions for supper, Billy ate at McDonald’s instead.
Noun Clause: Hugo and Kim are dating.
Appendix H
Name:________________________________ Date:_____________
Ye Olde Sentence
Welding Shop
Combine each set of sentences into one sentence.
1.) The cat was angry. It hissed. It scratched me.
2.) The car is red. It is shiny. It can handle very sharp turns.
3.) The tree was old and dry. It got struck by lightning. It fell down.
4.) I love cold, snowy days. On those days, I like to curl up under a blanket. I also like to read.
5.) The waiter was clumsy. He tripped on the rug. He spilled his tray all over the customers.
6.) The opera singer sang with gusto. She sang extremely high notes. The notes could break glass.
7.) There was a full moon. It hid behind the hazy clouds. It created an eerie atmosphere.
8.) The baby was laughing. He grabbed a handful of peas. He threw peas everywhere.
9.) The teacher irritated the students. He assigned another worksheet. The worksheet was boring.
10.) Some students liked the worksheet. They thought it was fun. They enjoy combining sentences.
Appendix I
Name:_______________________________ Date:_____________
Sentence Combining Quiz
1. In class, we discussed five different ways to combine sentences. List all five strategies (5 pts).
2. Combine the following two sentences in two different ways (4 pts):
Chloe
took a cold shower. She ate a quick breakfast.
3. Write three pairs of your own simple sentences, and then combine each pair using a different strategy. Do NOT use the strategies from #42! (5 pts each).
a.)
b.)
c.)
Appendix J
THE
DREADED COMMA
by Dr. Susanne George Bloomfield
University of Nebraska-Kearney English Department
If you can master these six comma rules, it will solve most of your comma problems. The rest most people don't remember either! Often comma errors occur because writers are too hurried (or too lazy) to take the time to carefully edit each sentence of a long paper.
Use the comma before coordinating conjunctions (and, or, nor, but, for, so, yet) that join two main clauses (a clause has both a subject and a verb).
I
completely forgot about my writing assignment last night, so I thought of a
creative excuse.
"Dr. Bloomfield," I said, "I couldn't hand in today's paper, for my computer hard drive crashed at ten o'clock last night."
II. After Introductory
Elements
Use a comma after sentence elements that appear before the main clause, such as transitions, phrases, and subordinate clauses. (Subordinate clause are introduced by words such as because, when, although, if, since, after, before, during, etc.)
Next, the electricity went off, so my
electric typewriter wouldn't work.
Fortunately for me, I found a
pencil.
Because the lead was broken, I had
to go to Wal-Mart to buy a pencil sharpener. [If the subordinate clause
does not come first, don't use a comma: I
had to go to Wal-Mart to buy a pencil-sharpener because the lead was broken.]
III. Around Parenthetical
Elements
Use commas to set off parenthetical sentence elements. (An element is parenthetical if it supplies information not essential to the clear meaning of the sentence. To test the element, remove it from the sentence; if the basic idea remains the same, then the element should be set off with commas.)
I searched every aisle, believe it
or not, and couldn't find a sharpener.
However, many rows of pens, bright
and colorful, tempted me.
IV. Between Items in a Series
Use commas between items in a series of three or more elements, which may be single words, phrases, or clauses. The formula is a, b, and c.
One
beautiful pen had polka dots of hot pink, purple, and chartreuse.
Others
had designs of neon stars, yellow ducks, or twirling ballerinas.
I chose the twirling ballerinas, I danced to the checkout counter, and I opened my wallet.
V. Between
Adjectives
Use commas between coordinate (equal) adjectives before a noun. To test whether they are coordinate adjectives, insert the word "and" between them. If the adjectives are coordinate, you will feel no awkwardness in reading them.
Only
a torn, folded Snickers coupon and two steel gray quarters lurked inside.
VI. Before and/or after
Absolute or Modifying Phrases
Absolute or Participial phrases, which modify the whole sentence, should be set off by commas.
Hearing
the cashier ask for eighty-nine cents, I returned the pen and went home.
I
collapsed on the sofa, waking the next morning as the sun filtered in the east
window.
I
came to class, hoping for compassion, and recounted my tale.
The professor understood, and I returned to my seat, much wiser than the day before.
Appendix K
Describing a Picture
Source:
Wolcott County Fair – A Major Connecticut Fair
http://www.wolcottfair.com/images/lift%20fair-grounds%202.jpg
Appendix L
Creative Writing – Descriptive Essay Rubric
|
Criteria |
Beginning
(0) |
Proficient
(5) |
Advanced
(10) |
Points |
|
1.)
Content |
-Uses
no relevant adjectives or adverbs -Uses
weak or passive verbs -Uses
mostly simple sentences |
-Uses
a few relevant adjectives or adverbs but not both -Uses
some ACTIVE verbs -Uses
some complex sentences |
-Uses
relevant adjectives and adverbs -Uses
relevant, ACTIVE verbs -Uses
complex sentences constructed with the 5 combining strategies. |
______ ______ ______ |
|
2.)
Organization |
-Topic
is undefined and not described -Does
not contain an introduction or conclusion -Is
hard to follow; has no coherent flow |
-Topic
is somewhat defined but not clearly described -Contains
an introduction or conclusion but not both -Contains
a few awkward or sudden transitions |
-Topic
is clearly defined and described -Contains
an introduction and conclusion -Flows
in a logical manner |
______ ______ ______ |
|
3.)
Mechanics |
-Contains
four or more spelling errors -Contains
six or more punctuation errors -Contains
five or more grammar errors |
-Contains
one to three spelling errors -Contains
four or five punctuation errors -Contains
three or four grammar errors |
-Is
free of spelling errors -Uses
punctuation and capitalization correctly -Uses
correct grammar |
______ ______ ______ |
|
4.)
Presentation |
-Does
not use three or more of the essay format criteria: a.
student’s name b.
essay title c.
double-spaced d.
one-inch margins e.
12 pt. font) |
-Does
not use one or two of the essay format criteria: a.
student’s name b.
essay title c.
double-spaced d.
one-inch margins e.
12 pt. font) |
-Uses
proper essay format: a.
student’s name b.
essay title c.
double-spaced d.
one-inch margins e.
12 pt. font) |
______ |
|
Comments: Total Score: ________/100
Scale: 100 – 90 = A
89 – 80 = B
79 – 70 = C
69 – 60 = D
59 – ↓
= F |
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